Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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