I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
