I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Randomize