yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
