Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
