She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
