At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Randomize
