i just wanna soil my oats bro
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Randomize
