Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
