so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
