Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
