when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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