I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
