and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
