Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
