This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
