I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
