the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
