I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
