Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
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