So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
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Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
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Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
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