my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
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