he shaved USA in his pubs
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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