I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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