HIV tests are more positive than that guy
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize