Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
