K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
