Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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