my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
