Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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