Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
