LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
i think my cat just said my name.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
