I just cut my nipple shaving
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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