im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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