ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
It was confusing and full of hummus
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Randomize
