YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
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