the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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