Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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