I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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