ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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