You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
