"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
