I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
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Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
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Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
i need some magic done to my vagina
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
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