I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
