kristin has been a bad kristin
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
