You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
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