should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
