Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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