I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
