We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
tell me about the eggs
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
