I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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