I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
If that was your dad, he is hot
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
