we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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