i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize