so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
