I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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