I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
