i barfeds in our rink
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
