so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
