What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize