I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
