There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
