We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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